A stressed mother caring for her child.
Louise Broadbridge
Louise Broadbridge

God the pressure of motherhood is real

What awful mothers we all are that we are unable to scrub up well enough in the first month following the arrival of our tiny person to pose for a floral photoshoot. God love Beyoncé and hats off to her but how realistic is this? I wonder how willing celebrities would be to publish the un”photoshopped” version of such photographs. The pressure of motherhood might not feel so high if more celebs did this.

Hormones running a mock, nipples leaking, bloodshot eye’d partners and a baby with colic. And then when you’re out shopping, you spot a front page picture of the latest celebrity magazine, and you can add to that list a vague feeling of inadequacy.

So, let’s have a good dose of reality ladies. Firstly, we must question: even if we had a zillion billion dollars in the bank would we really want to pose like the Virgin Mary whilst pretending that our perineum doesn’t hurt a jot?

Secondly, having a baby is a rollercoaster both physically and emotionally. FACT!

And, finally, it’s OK to say that its not all its cracked up to be and that it certainly doesn’t reflect the portrait experiences of Kim Kardashian and the like.

So ladies, here is a list of likely realities you may face once your tiny person arrives.

Reality Check

Love! For most it is instantaneous and overwhelming. For many it comes with an overwhelming feeling of “Oh my God how do I care for something so perfect?”

Very sore privates – so sore that you are scared to pee! Hang in there girls it will settle down. Drink lots and lots of water – it will sting less!

Tiredness – it was not by accident that sleep deprivation was once used as a source of torture. Take the advice – sleep when baby sleeps. It’s an oldie but a goodie!

Cracked and sore nipples. So relieved that your baby has finally agreed to latch on, you have powered through just so your newborn can feed. The Result: Nipples ripped to ribbons. OK – no overnight fix but: use a really good quality nipple cream, before and after feeding. Express a little of your milk onto the breast and rub it gently on the sore area as it has healing properties.  Ask your midwife to check the latch or go to a feeding group.

House a bombshell! Hoover? What’s that? Forget it because in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. Let go of your pride and if someone offers to help, give them the toilet brush and Duck and put the kettle on!

Can’t quite remember what you fancied about your partner? Bless them but can they surely be telling you that THEY are tired? Having a baby can start an unexpected “who is more tired?” competition. The answer: you’re both knackered because the pressure of motherhood is real!

It is going to get easier – I promise!

Yummy Mummy walks in the park, looking fab in your UGG boots will likely be an OASIS in your life until you are able to get dressed before 4pm. Don’t worry, your UGGs aren’t going anywhere. There is time.

Mummy Tummy. Just like a blown up balloon we never really go back to the exact same way we were before we housed a growing human for 9 months. Take faith my lovelies you will go to the ball again – just not in the next 2 months like the lovely Princess Katherine! (We do love her, though!)

Did you not realise that everyone was a parenting expert? The scary thing is that now you are a parent you will inevitably become one too in the not too distant future. But for now, grin and bare it. You can get your revenge on your best friend when she has her baby later in the year. Remember though, she will secretly be thinking “I wish she would mind her own business!”

Back to it: LOVE. It doesn’t matter how hard you are finding it or how tired and unattractive you feel, you still know it’s worth it because your tiny person is the best, most wonderful thing in the room! Even if you did wish it came with a remote control so you could press mute or switch off when the adverts started.

On a final note – it’s not all doom and gloom. Normality will out! You will look and feel fab again and you will get your life back. It will be different and better because you will have your tiny human smiling at everything you do.

Keep going x

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